14 Common Mistakes to Avoid During a Maryland Divorce

When you divorce, you are at a critical crossroads. How your divorce is handled will likely have a huge impact on your life not just now, but for years into the future, even into retirement. When you are already going through the stressful divorce process, the last thing you need is to make unnecessary mistakes. Below, we will outline some of the common mistakes to avoid during a Maryland divorce. There are dozens of other mistakes just waiting to trip you up, but a good Maryland divorce attorney knows the hazards and is your best protection.

1. Loss of Emotional Control

Whether your divorce is amicable or adversarial, this is an emotional time. The well-known Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale ranks divorce as the second most stressful event of the 43 named events – right after the death of a spouse. Divorce ranks as more stressful than detention in jail, the death of a close family member and major illness. So, it’s no wonder that people may lash out and behave emotionally. But reacting in anger or sadness can result in costing you in money, property and access to your children. Here’s a few things to keep in mind:

• Avoid fixating on a specific piece of property. It’s not unusual for adversarial couples to refuse to compromise on who gets some item that is objectively not that important. This could be anything from a coin collection to a piece of art. Ask yourself whether the item is really worth mounting attorney fees and putting the brakes on moving on with your life.
• Consider if you really want the house. Couples often argue about who gets the house. People can understandably become very attached to their houses, where they have a lot of memories. List the pros and cons of keeping the house. Do you really want the house payments and taxes? Will you be able to afford them? Do you want the upkeep once your spouse isn’t there to help? Would you be better off just starting fresh in a new residence?

• Revenge may come at a high price. Sometimes people seek revenge when they should just be trying to wrap up the divorce and get on with their lives. For example, sometimes a spouse will seek sole child custody rather than joint custody when they don’t even want it, and it’s not in the best interests of the child. If you refuse to compromise or insist on illogical outcomes, you are going to end up in litigation and paying an attorney a lot of money you could have kept for yourself.

• Realize your divorce will take some time. Since the divorce process can cause people a lot of anxiety, some people have a tendency to agree to anything in an attempt to get through it faster. This is a mistake. Divorces can take time even when the couple is amicable. Make your best attempt to work with your spouse to reach a fair agreement. But don’t jeopardize your future by agreeing to just anything.

2. Ignorance of Maryland Divorce Laws

Grounds for divorce changed in Maryland in 2023, so what your friend or relative tells you about their divorce years ago is probably outdated. Today, there are three grounds for a Maryland divorce:

• Mutual consent– You and your spouse can agree to divorce and sign a marital settlement agreement where you agree to issues concerning alimony, marital property, child support, and child custody.
• 6-Month Separation– You and your spouse have lived separate and apart, without interruption, for at least six months before filing a complaint for absolute divorce. This does not necessarily mean you are living in separate houses. You can still live under the same roof but must pursue separate lives.
• Irreconcilable Differences– One or both spouses want to end the marriage for differences that cannot be resolved.

Though all divorces are different, at the same time, your divorce is subject to state laws. There is no use insisting that you get property division, alimony, or child support that is contrary to Maryland law.

For example, whether or not you think it’s fair, marital property is not guaranteed to be divided 50/50. Maryland follows an equitable distribution model, and specific rules govern asset and debt distribution. Obviously, this is just one small example, and there are many intricacies you and your attorney will need to navigate with the state’s legal framework.

3. Not Understanding Child Support and Alimony May Not Be Immediate

Because divorce can be a long process, a court may award temporary alimony and child support in a pendente lite hearing after you file for divorce but before your divorce is finalized. However, a pendente lite hearing may not happen for a few months. It’s also no guarantee you will be awarded what you seek. In any case, it will be some time before any money is paid. If you expect to receive child support or spousal support, plan to have enough money to get by before payments begin. Not doing so can be one of the devastating mistakes to avoid during a Maryland divorce.

And remember, if you want alimony to be considered as part of your divorce case, you must file a request for alimony in your Complaint for Absolute Divorce along with a Long Form Financial Statement (Form CC-DR-031).   If you want child support to be considered in your divorce case, you must request child support in your complaint along with the appropriate financial statement.

4. Inaccurate Representation of Your Ongoing Financial Situation

To get a fair hearing before a divorce court, you need to provide the court with an accurate view of your financial situation now and for the future. This can be tedious, but it must be done.

Tracking

You need to show an accurate picture of your spending and how that may change in the future. Track everything from groceries to vacations to school expenses.

Change

Everything changes, particularly the economic landscape. For example, if you are negotiating how much each parent will pay for a child’s college education, realize that what would be more than enough for a four-year degree today may barely make a dent when Jr. enters college in 10 or 15 years.

The price of eggs fluctuates. The needs of a three-year-old are not going to be the same when the child is 12. Though court orders can be modified if there is significant change in circumstances, it’s not a sure thing. It’s going to make your life much easier to plan for the future as much as possible at the time you are getting a divorce.

Premature Death

Consider what will happen to the children if one or both of the parties dies sooner than expected. This is particularly important when one spouse is paying most of the children’s expenses. Consider setting up trusts, life insurance policies, disability insurance policies, and other financial instruments.

Debt

Don’t forget to make a list of marital debt. Just as property needs to be divided, so does debt.

Dishonesty

Judges are not pleased when they discover that a party is hiding assets or lying about their financial situation. If you are caught, you may suffer legal penalties and a decreased amount in divided assets. A judge will find it hard to trust any other claim you make and may wonder what other assets you are hiding.

5. Carelessly Valuing Assets

In order to reach an agreement on property division or enable a court to fairly divide property, you need to know what it’s worth. Properly listing all marital property and evaluating it is often time-consuming and expensive, but it needs to be done.

Your Maryland divorce attorney should be able to provide you with a template or checklist to help you list your assets and arrange professional evaluation if necessary. We are talking not just about physical property and real estate, but also bank accounts, stocks, life insurance policies, and business ownership or interests.

6. Not Guarding Financial Records

Even if your divorce is amicable, it is unwise to trust your spouse with all your financial records. You both should have copies of documents such as tax returns, bank statements, and pay stubs.

7. Not Taking Your Money Out of Joint Accounts

Immediately talk to your lawyer about how to best protect money in joint accounts. You may be advised to remove your share of money that is in joint accounts before your spouse drains them. Don’t hide the money, just put it into an individual account in your name.

8. Ignoring Tax Repercussions

Divorce can have a lot of tax impact not just at the time you divorce but also years into the future. If you (or at least your attorneys) can work together, you can minimize tax impact. Here are some examples:

• You will want to consider the value of assets after taxes when dividing property.
• Consider who should get the child tax exemption or if that should change yearly.
• Plan alimony payments, considering how paying a lump sum will affect taxes for both parties. Your Maryland family law attorney can discuss your individual situation with you.

9. Not Properly Considering Retirement Accounts, Social Security, and Pensions

Retirement benefits and pensions are considered marital property that should be divided between the parties to the divorce, just the same as income.

One thing you should know is that if you have been married 10 years or more, a spouse may get part of their higher-earning spouse’s social security. So, if you’ve been a stay-at-home parent or if you do not earn as much as your spouse, you may want to consider the timing of when you file for divorce. In other words, if you file for divorce at the 9.5 year mark rather than waiting out the 10 years, you won’t have a claim to any of your spouse’s social security benefits.

10. Not Updating Beneficiaries and Estate Plans

This is a big mistake many people make in a Maryland divorce. More than one person has forgotten to remove their ex from an important policy such as a life insurance policy. If at the time of your death, you have forgotten to change the beneficiary from your ex to your current spouse or other individual, your ex is going to get that money.

Similarly, when you are divorcing, have your attorney review your wills and trusts to be sure your wishes are followed upon your death.  Also, ask your attorney to check whether you need to void any powers of attorney you have granted your soon-to-be ex.

11. Using Social Media Indiscreetly

Aside from posting your cute cat batting her toy mouse around, it’s best to just stay off social media during a divorce. And if you can manage staying off it all together, so much the better. Fluffy won’t mind.

Surely you already know not to make critical comments about your spouse on social media during a divorce. But also showing your children, activities, and possessions on social media may have negative consequences you never dreamed in terms of custody, visitation, child support, property division, and other aspects of your divorce.

12.  Not Attempting to Reach a Mutually Beneficial Agreement

One of the most expensive mistakes to avoid during a Maryland divorce is going to litigation when it’s unnecessary. It’s understandable that it may be difficult for you to talk with your spouse when you are divorcing. But the more you can both agree on the terms of your divorce, the better. If you cannot agree and litigate property division, child custody, visitation, child support, and alimony, you are giving a judge the control to decide these matters.

Although family court judges are bound by the law, they still have quite a bit of flexibility. There is no sure thing. When you hand control of your life over to a judge, you are rolling the dice and may be in for a rude awakening. Then there is the fact that litigating your divorce is vastly more expensive than reaching a mutual agreement with your spouse with the help of your attorneys.

Though a judge will have to approve an agreement you reach in a divorce, if the terms you both agree to are reasonable, a judge will not deny your terms.

13. Not Considering Mediation

Sometimes, a couple is just unable to reach an agreement on their own, but fears the expense and uncertainties of litigation. Mediation provides a very viable option.

In mediation, a neutral third party helps the couple come to an agreement on sticking points. It can work well for couples who are at odds as well as couples who have remained amicable. It’s less adversarial than litigation, and because the process encourages working together, it is less emotionally draining than litigation. It’s also significantly less expensive.

Finally, you can keep a lot more control over your divorce when you mediate, because you are not giving a judge the power to make unpredictable decisions that may affect your life for years.

14. Not Following the Advice of an Experienced Maryland Family Law Attorney

If you have children or assets, it is a mistake not to consult with an experienced Maryland divorce lawyer. Here are some guidelines for working with your lawyer:

• If you are even considering divorce, talk with an attorney early on to get a realistic idea of the process. The earlier you consult an attorney, the smoother the process will be. And remember, consulting with an attorney does not mean you can’t change your mind.
• Don’t sign any kind of agreement concerning your divorce, property, or children without consulting with your lawyer. You may end up forfeiting important rights without realizing it.
• Don’t ignore your attorney’s advice in favor of advice from friends and family.
• Don’t lie to your attorney about your assets, relationships, debts, or other matters. You do not want your attorney to be surprised in court. Your attorney cannot effectively represent you if you are not honest and transparent.
• Hire an experienced Maryland divorce lawyer. They know the ins and outs of the law that may not be apparent to lay people or inexperienced lawyers. An experienced lawyer can protect you from hidden pitfalls that may have consequences far into the future.
• Don’t make any kind of verbal agreement with your spouse without consulting your attorney. Your attorney will probably advise you to put everything possible in writing so both parties are clear about the terms, and so the terms can be enforced.
• Don’t move out of your house suddenly without first consulting your attorney unless you are in an emergency domestic violence situation.

Heed These Mistakes to Avoid During a Maryland Divorce

The best way to avoid critical mistakes during your divorce is to seek representation from an experienced Maryland divorce attorney. The law firm of Jimeno & Gray has been successfully representing clients for divorce and other family law matters for over 20 years. Schedule a consultation to discuss the options best for your own situation.